Category Archives: Parenting

Achieving best outcomes from care

Twenty-seven years continuous work in child protection and child welfare, including ongoing work with young adults who have transitioned from Care, has taught me some extremely valuable lessons about long-term outcomes of a childhood spent in State Care. In particular, … Continue reading

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What do children in care need to recover from relational trauma?

In recent posts I have referred to three things that children in out-of-home care need, and need adults who are responsible for their care and welfare to understand, to support their recovery from complex relational trauma. These three things are: … Continue reading

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How do I get my child to go to sleep in their own bed?

In this blog I describe a methodology I used with my own children, and recommend in my practice. Before doing so, I would advise that this is a routine that I sustained across years. My children and I enjoyed this … Continue reading

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How long does it take for therapeutic care strategies to work?

The ‘failure’ of a therapeutic care strategy to achieve the desired outcome on first administration does not necessarily mean that it will not or that it is a worthless strategy. Children and young people who are recovering from a tough … Continue reading

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Why does my child need ‘therapeutic care’?

A child’s adjustment, like many aspects of their functioning, is usefully thought of as sitting on a spectrum ranging from maladjustment at one end to positive adjustment at the other end. Where a child is on this spectrum depends on … Continue reading

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Why does my child chew their clothes?

Chewing their clothes is not necessarily evidence of wilful damage or a lack of respect. For many children it is an exaggeration of a very natural way in which they regulate their nervous system. As such, it is better conceptualised … Continue reading

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Why does my child follow me to the bathroom?

Those who take care of children who are recovering from a tough start to life commonly report that the child in their care follows them to the bathroom, and becomes unreasonably distressed when prevented from doing so. In my experience … Continue reading

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What I would have birth parents hear after the removal of their child

Twenty seven years speaking to children and young people (and care experienced adults) who have been removed from the care of their birth parents due to grossly inadequate care and maltreatment has left me with deep concerns about the impact of parental separation and loss on the developing child, and the capacity for alternate care and therapeutic supports alone to compensate for this. (read more at link) Continue reading

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Why does my child lie?

Lying is not necessarily evidence of a character flaw or lack of connection with reality. Children and young people who are recovering from a tough start to life due to abuse and neglect lie for self-protection. Such is their profound … Continue reading

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Why does my child smile when I am angry?

Smiling when you are angry is not necessarily a sign that the child or young person in your care is feeling self-satisfied and smug. Many children and young people who are recovering from a tough start to life due to abuse and neglect are unsettled by heightened emotion in adults. For them, it is associated with something bad happening. Continue reading

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